I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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