Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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