You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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