i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I smell like Dick and happiness
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