If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I enjoy the company of your penis
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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