But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
