i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
