help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
