Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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