I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
