I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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