thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
