He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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