I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
