is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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