Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
