Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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