Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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