He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
