It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Of course I have a pirate flag
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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