Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this will be a night to untag.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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