problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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