I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
