oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i think i just lost a toe
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
