how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
