I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
