I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
