4 words: hood of his car
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
