someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
