Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
