I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I touched a dick in church today
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
