Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
