Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
