can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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