I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just pynch a tree in the face
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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