The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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