we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
