I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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