And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
