I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
