just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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