we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I cut my penus on the lid.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
