But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize