i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
