Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
