So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
