just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
