you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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