I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Girls should come with a carfax report
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize