This girl is more easily done than said...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
