I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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