she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
