I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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