hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
