the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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