when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
