two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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