these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
