i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
