so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I love you.
Bad choice
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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