so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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