No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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