didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
