? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We are two peas in an std pod
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
