I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
